Lost Opportunity

I was more a tom-boy than a girlie girl. Rather would have been an Indian or a Pirate than a Princess, rather followed tracks in the dirt and explored secret caves than playing high tea on the picnic rug with my dolls. I did have Barbies, but mine had a horse and wore pants and went on adventures rather than wearing glittery dresses and little shoes.

I could be found on the local adventure and water playgrounds, building igloos in the snow in winter and having daring toboggan rides.

I didn’t much miss the girlie playdates with endless doll-dressing and re-dressing. However, one thing I always wanted to do and never got was having ballet lessons. I remember being very jealous of friends who did, jealous of their tutus and little shoes, of all the graceful moves they learnt – I always felt clumsy and awkward next to them. I was jealous of their long hair put up in a bun. My hair never grew past shoulder length, and got progressively shorter over the years.

This little lady visiting my studio is a very girlie girl. She loves jewels and sparkly things. And she has ballet lessons. Amazing how jealousy still can sting, even after all these long years, it’s been a while since my childhood after all. And amazing how the sting still hurts but also burns with a lot of sadness and resignation over a lost opportunity.

Probably one reason why I really cherished this shoot. Let my eyes feast. Absolutely gorgeous little lady, and if polka-dots ever suit someone, they do suit her, even if it was just in a prop.

 

Olivia

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2 responses to “Lost Opportunity

  • Garrulous Gwendoline

    What a poignant story. Perhaps it is this ability to recall the feelings of your younger years that enhances the imagery in the photographs. you have done a wonderful job, and I particularly like the one where she is looking in to the camera – not over-confident and very sweet.

  • azpictured

    Thanks Gwen. As adults we are a muddle of past feelings and experiences, aren’t we? She was very sweet, and very cooperative, and I hope I created a good memory for her, so that in 40 years time, when she looks back she’ll remember that she felt pretty and special on that day in my studio 🙂

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